


Five Shovel Talks and One Heart-To-Heart

by canthelpmyselves



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Getting Together, M/M, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship, Shovel Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 04:47:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17891762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canthelpmyselves/pseuds/canthelpmyselves
Summary: For some strange reason, people keep threatening Len.





	Five Shovel Talks and One Heart-To-Heart

**1.) Cecile Horton at Sinners and Saints**

Len lifted an eyebrow as a district attorney sat down across from him in the booth. “Can I help you?” he drawled when the woman just sat there for several seconds, glaring at him.

“Now, I realize that you’re a big time villain, and you could probably kill me with minimal effort. However, I feel it necessary to tell you that if you break his heart, I will endeavor to make your life incredibly uncomfortable. There is no court in this city, _this state_ , that wouldn’t grant me a warrant. Every time you step out in public, facial recognition will have the CCPD on your back within seconds. The moment you set foot in a bank or museum, every alarm will go off. I will ruin you.”

“Do D.A.’s usually hunt down criminals and make threats?” Len asked.

She squared her shoulders and glared at him. “I have a lot of power, Mr. Snart. Power I will not hesitate to use against you if you hurt Barry.”

Len watched, stunned with disbelief, as the woman gave one firm nod before standing up and walking away, head held high. Once she was out the door Len shook his head and exhaled heavily. What the hell was that about?

**2.) Julian Albert at Holden’s Grocery**

The sound of someone clearing his throat made Len glance behind him. He was about to turn back around, not recognizing the slender blonde, when the guy cleared his throat louder, shot Len a pointed look and crossed his arms. Curious, Len turned to face the guy, shaking the boxes of granola bars he was trying to decide between.

“Oat & Honey or Almond Crunch?” he asked.

The blonde rolled his eyes. “Mister Snart, my name is Julian Albert. You might want to remember my face,” he declared in a British accent.

Len smirked and tilted his head. “Oh? And why is that?”

“Because if you step out of line, just once, and cause harm to Barry Allen,” he sneered, “my face is the last one you will see before they lock you away in solitary for the rest of your life. I will do whatever it takes to ensure that you never see the light of day again if you tarnish the light in that man’s heart.”

Len stood utterly still, masking his confusion and shock at the unexpected (second) warning. 

Albert seemed satisfied if his head nod was any indication. He spun on his heel and marched away, pausing only long enough to grab a package of Keebler cookies before walking out of sight.

Len huffed and tossed both boxes into his shopping basket. This was getting weird.

**3.) Lisa at safe house #4**

Len pinched his nose tightly to try and stop the bleeding. “Weally, sis?” he mumbled.

“Do you have any idea how childish you are?” she demanded, slapping his shoulder a second time. “Look, pulling pigtails and awkwardly punching shoulders is fine when you’re in grade school, but you’re a grown ass man! Stop trying to flirt by being a bully! I love you, but you’re an idiot. Just ask him out and stop using heists as foreplay. You’re lucky all he did was break your nose for this one.”

Len tried to glare at her, but his broken nose was making it too painful to maintain the look. “I don’ know whah you’re ‘alkin’ ‘bouw.”

Lisa rolled her eyes before handing him some tissues and an ice pack. “Lenny, there’s only so far you can push the guy before he gives up. And frankly, it’s a miracle he’s hung on this long. Oh,and if you hurt him, I’ll shoot you, myself.”

Len watched her storm out of the room before dropping down onto the recliner. Had everyone around him gone insane?

**4.) Thea Queen in the Central City Museum of Fine Art**

It was one thing to go up against the Flash and another to face off against the Arrow. With Barry Len knew there would be some bantering and no real threat. He might not get away with the loot (Barry was more successful than Len liked to admit) but it was always fun. The Arrow, though? So far he had barely managed to avoid four arrows, had a cracked rib from a kick and his left eye throbbed from a fist. He had given as good as he got, though. The vigilante’s left thigh was injured, likely frostbit, and he had a dislocated shoulder. 

Len grunted as they went down in a tangle of limbs after being tackled. Queen straightened up and grabbed Len’s parka, raising his other hand and forming a fist. Len bucked up and tried to throw him off, but Queen was expecting it. 

“Stop!”

Queen growled as a smaller body dove into him, rolling him away from Len. He scrambled to get to his feet, but the young woman spun, bringing up a bow and arrow. From this short distance, Len knew he wouldn’t be able to dodge.

“Speedy!” Queen growled.

“Shut it,” the woman snapped. She slowly stood, still aiming at Len. “I’m going to drop the weapon and we’re going to talk,” she demanded.

“Dammit, Speedy!” 

“I said shut up, Ollie!” she hissed. Queen gave a strangled groan but she rolled her eyes behind the domino mask. “It’s Leonard Snart. I’d be shocked if he didn’t know our identities.”

Len smirked and casually brushed off his parka. “Oliver and Thea Queen,” he drawled. “Wasn’t hard to figure out. How you managed to convince an entire city they were wrong is amazing. Also, using your high school nickname as your secret identity? Not very stealthy.” He paused and shrugged one shoulder. “Besides, the Flash doesn’t know too many people in Star. It wasn’t hard to put together.”

Thea Queen smirked and dropped her bow. “Speaking of the Flash,” she began.

“God damn it, Speedy, shut the hell up!” Queen snapped.

Thea shot him a glare before turning back to Len. “Look, my brother is a bit of a jackass, but he’s a very protective jackass. The last thing any of us want is for Barry to be hurt. So, I’m giving you one, and only one, warning. If you break his heart, hurt him in any way, you won’t have just the Arrow to worry about. You’ll have all of us aiming for you. There is nowhere you can hide, nowhere you can go, that we won’t find you and make you pay.”

Len huffed and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Why does everyone think there’s something between Scarlet and I?” he demanded. “I’m his nemesis! His villain! That’s it!”

Thea snorted and turned to grab her brother’s arm. “Seriously,” she said over her shoulder. “Two archers, two assassins, a cyber activist, and a magic user, all gunning for you if we see even one tear.”

Len watched her herd her brother out of the museum, despite his growled protests. Once he was alone he turned and stomped out of the museum. What the hell was wrong with everyone????

**5.) David Singh in a CCPD interrogation room**

Len was done. Completely, absolutely, forever done. It’s one thing to get unnecessary shovel talks from strangers, enemies and even his own sister. But from a cop? And not just any cop, but the captain of the CCPD to boot. There was no doubt in his mind that if a cop, any cop, thought for even a second he could get away with it, he’d shoot Len and bury him in the woods somewhere.

“Are you even listening to me?” Singh demanded.

Len narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. “Why bother? It doesn’t pertain to me.”

Singh’s mouth compressed into a thin line for a moment. “You are not good enough for my best CSI,” he hissed. “In fact, you might just be the worst possible choice for him! But that doesn’t change the fact that, for some insane reason, you’re the one he wants. But one step out of line, one black mark on your nonexistent records, and I’ll toss you in Iron Heights faster than you can make a pun.”

“Are we done?” Len drawled.

Singh’s expression turned sour but he backed off and gave a sharp nod. Len stood, smoothed out his shirt and walked out of the room. He crossed the bullpen with a wide smirk, ignoring the grumbling of a few officers. With his records erased, and Lewis’ death ruled as self defense, there was nothing they could do to hold him, and he knew that they hated it.

**+1) Len visits Barry in his new apartment**

Len lifted the mug in his hand in greeting as Barry slammed his door shut. “Scarlet. You’re still out of mini marshmallows.”

Barry reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled heavily. “I don’t like marshmallows,” he snapped. “What are you doing here, Snart? I just moved in last week. How do you even know about this place?”

Len looked down his nose at Barry. “You don’t like marshmallows? I’m going to have to rethink this whole relationship.”

Barry’s face turned pink and he forcefully threw his jacket on the couch. “And that’s another thing! Why does your sister think we’re dating?”

Len set aside his mug and tilted his head as he stared at the younger man. “Funny. I was about to ask the same thing.”

Barry didn’t look amused. If anything, he grew more agitated. “Do you realize I’ve gotten five shovel talks this week? First it was Ray Palmer, which was just pitiful! I mean, I like Ray, but he’s not remotely scary. Next it was Rory who threatened to set me on fire if I messed up. Sara Lance said she’d hate to let Rory set me on fire, but she would roast s’mores over the flames if I hurt you. Not to mention Lisa, who made some very disturbing threats toward my genitals. And just an hour ago _my own AI_ told me that breaking your heart would result in a complete shut down of the lab and irrevocable damage to the future timeline! 

I haven’t even seen you since you joined the Legends! Not to mention, I would never do anything to hurt you. Besides, a guy like you? It’s insane! You’d never want some geek. With your charm and sex appeal, you’re more likely to date someone sexy like Sara or Oliver than skinny nerd me.”

Len blinked several times. Slowly he got to his feet and moved across the room until they were only a few inches away. Len watched as Barry’s cheeks turned a darker red and his eyes darted around so he was looking at everything but him. “Do you really not know?” he asked, astonished.

“Know what?” Barry mumbled shyly.

Len slowly smiled and reached up to cup Barry’s cheek and turn his head so they were looking at one another. “You, Barry Allen, are incredibly sexy,” he whispered. “I’d be the lucky one. A hero? Someone smart and selfless and beautiful, both inside and out? I’d be unbelievably lucky to have someone like you.”

Barry’s eyes widened and his mouth opened and closed several times before he found his voice. “Y-you think… but I’m just… and you’re so…”

Len leaned in and pressed his lips to Barry’s in a soft, chaste kiss. He almost laughed when the speedster melted against him. Len slid his arms around Barry and held him close, slowly deepening the kiss. Feeling Barry respond so willingly, so eagerly, had his heart thumping rapidly in his chest. 

“So,” he said breathlessly when they parted, “we’ve already gotten the shovel talks out of the way. How about a date?”

Barry giggled and pressed his face into the crook of Len’s neck. “I’d like that,” he admitted softly.


End file.
